How Is Sex Therapy Helpful?
Human sexual behavior is learned behavior; it is not instinctually based, as in most animals. Our society does little to prepare us for adult sexual relationships, providing children few opportunities to gain balanced and accurate information about sexuality.
Yet our society is sex-obsessed; we are bombarded with sexual images in the media. It is easy to think that one should be having great sex all the time. On the other hand, our society is sexually repressed. Most children are not given adequate information about healthy sexuality, but are left to figure it out on their own with the “guidance” of locker room talk, romantic novels and movies, and pornography.
There is enormous variability in human sexual behavior. Kinsey was astonished at the degree of variation in sexual practices he discovered in his research sixty years ago. There is no “normal” – yet in the context of widespread ignorance in sexual matters, many worry about themselves and whether their desires, urges and behaviors are normal.
Sexual behavior is highly responsive to its context. When one feels loved, wanted and accepted it is much easier to relax and be open and sexually expressive. When one feels unwanted, criticized, disliked, frightened, unsafe or overly vulnerable, it is not possible to respond in a relaxed and open way.
Many medical conditions may affect sexual performance. Diabetes, heart conditions, vulvar pain syndromes, interstitial cystitis and many other illnesses may make sexual responsiveness difficult or impossible. It is always important to be examined by a physician to rule out any physical component in sexual dysfunction.
Sex therapy looks at two primary areas to assess sexual dysfunction and intervene therapeutically. Individual issues may include performance anxiety, depression, lack of sexual knowledge, sexual fears and inhibitions, shame, guilt, and intimacy issues. Issues within a relationship which may lead to sexual dysfunction include unresolved conflicts, communication difficulties, lack of knowledge, and unwillingness to experiment with new behavior.
Sex therapy may be useful where medical issues are present, to help the individual or couple find alternative and satisfying ways to be sexual. Age, handicapping conditions and physical illness do not close the door on sexuality!
The likelihood of obtaining a successful outcome in sex therapy is increased when both partners in a relationship are willing to work together. Both individual and relationship issues may thus be addressed. It is possible to work on individual issues with sexuality when only one partner comes to therapy.
I welcome persons of all sexual orientations, lifestyles and preferences to my practice.
More topics on Sex Therapy:
Couples Counseling, Sex Therapy and Sexual Problems
Radio Interviews on Sexuality Topics
Positive Sexuality Resources
* * * * *
For further reading, click on the following sections which are in The Guide to Self Help Books:
Intimate Relationships: Relationship Advice
Sexuality and Sex Education
Men's Sexual Health
Women's Sexual Health
Gay and Lesbian Issues
* * * * *
For highly rated educational videos, visit:
Sinclair Intimacy Institute
Better Sex Products
