The "Be Do Have" Paradigm: Attracting What You Want

Sandi Anders, M.Div., R.Y.T.

Does the following statement sound familiar to you?

"If only I could HAVE a certain thing (enough money, free time, resources, new car,etc.), I would DO a certain thing (travel, do more fun activities, buy the things I want, etc.) and then I would BE a certain way (peaceful, calm, happy, etc.)."

Have Do Be

This line of reasoning is sometimes referred to as the HAVE DO BE paradigm.

When we approach our lives in this way, we only postpone the outcomes that we most want, and keep ourselves from the happiness that is rightfully ours. By directing our efforts toward the DO and the HAVE side of life, the state of BE-ING (joy, creativity, freedom) that we seek is always conditional upon what we DO or HAVE.

Be Do Have

I believe that reversing this way of thinking better serves us -- and propels us toward having more of what it is we most want. Why not choose to BE what we ultimately seek (peaceful, joyous, free) and allow the things we want to DO and HAVE to flow from that BE- ING? If we want success or companmionship we are far more likely to manifest those realities if we are peaceful or joyous or free.

This is the BE DO HAVE paradigm -- and it has powerful consequences. Here is how it works.

There are laws which govern the Universe, such as the Law of Gravity. The Law of Gravity is always consistent: if we fall from a high cliff, we will find ourselves rapidly moving toward the bottom of that cliff.

As the Law of Gravity governs the behavior of falling bodies, the Law of Attraction is a spiritual principle that governs how we bring into existence what we seek in life. The Law of Attraction states that we magnetize or draw towards ourselves whatever we give our focus and attention to.

This is different from living in a state of yearning, or chronic wanting. ("I wish I could..") Rather it is about choosing the experience one wants ("I am grateful...") and allowing the details to work themselves out. Wanting only begets more wanting.

Neale Donald Walsh puts it this way:

Most people believe that if they 'have' a thing (more time, money, love - whatever) then they can finally 'do' a thing (write a book, take up a hobby, go on vacation, buy a home, undertake a relationship), which will enable them to 'be' a thing (happy, peaceful, content, or in love). In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the Universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), 'havingness' does not produce 'beingness' but the other way around. First you 'be' the thing called 'happy' (or 'knowing', or 'wise', or 'compassionate', or whatever) then you start 'doing' things from this place of beingness - and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you've always wanted to 'have.' Conversations with God, Book 3

Practicing Be Do Have

Here are some suggestions for putting the BE DO HAVE paradigm into practice in your life:

1. Clarify what you want.

Get clear about what you really want to HAVE or DO in your life. Visualize in detail the satisfying career, the shiny new car, the vacation home, the perfect companion, the ability to do what you want whenever you want. Don't hold back -- really allow yourself to acknowledge that which you most desire.

2. Imagine having/doing it.

Focus your thoughts on what your life will be like once you have or do what you most want. Use all of your senses to imagine this state of BE-ING. How will you feel, what will you see, hear, taste or touch after you have that which you really want? Take time to fully imagine enjoying your heart's desire, visualizing the experience, breathing life into the images you see.

It is often helpful to write these images down. Here are some suggestions to get your writing started:

"In my perfect alternate universe I (am/have/do) . . ."
"When I have it my way . . . "

3. Allow yourself to go ahead and have the feeling - now.

Holding on to the feeling inside that comes as you imagine your perfected life, look for opportunities to feel that feeling -- now!

Elyse Hope Killoran suggests that one keep a "To BE" list for the day. Many of us are used to starting out our day with a "To Do" List. How might your day be different if you started out each day with an intention about who you want to BE that day?

For example: I am PEACE. I am JOY. I am LOVE. I am COMPASSION.

For each intention, think of ways to actualize what you have imagined. List things to DO today to BE more of what you intend.

For example: Today I am CENTERED: I meditate, I breathe consciously, I smile at myself and at others.

Living the BE - DO - HAVE paradigm takes practice. It may seem backwards at first, for we are programmed to believe that our primary source of happiness, joy or contentment lies outside us.

But give it a try! Try BEING today whatever it is that you most value -- and see what happens!